“You are so brave. I wish I could just take six months off like that.”
When I announced I was leaving my job as managing director of a digital social enterprise to take a career break, the main response from colleagues and contacts in the world of charity digital was that I’m bold, brave and fearless. Whether or not they’re questioning my sanity under their breath, on the outside they’re nothing but positive.
Thing is, I don’t feel particularly brave. What started as a pipedream before Christmas, now feels absolutely essential. Even when I worry that I’m throwing my career away, I have to trust I’m making the right decision.
In February 2017, I was lucky enough to visit Japan as part of a cultural exchange programme. I met incredible people from British, Finnish, German and Japanese charities. We ate the best food, learned a lot and screeched karaoke until the wee hours. On that trip, I realised that the world was a lot bigger and more complicated than I had chosen to conceive it as and that, despite previous thoughts to the contrary, I don’t have all the answers.
I’ve always been ambitious and driven to achieve as much as I can. As cheesy as it sounds, I’ve also always wanted to make a difference in the world. I started my first charity campaign age seven — our slogan was, ‘Help save the animals before time runs out’. We made it onto Radio Scotland.
I dedicated my career to the charity sector and the past ten years have been characterised by a string of great roles with amazing charities. While I’m not knocking ambition and I’m proud of what I’ve achieved, it’s time for me to take a step back.
Until now, I’ve known what my next move was going to be — up the career ladder, through each new challenge. Instead of the inexorable forward march, I want to figure out some lateral moves. I want to broaden my perspective, learn new things and play with more creative solutions. The company I’ve worked for over the last few months does some amazing work, but it wasn’t the right fit. In order to be happy in work, and in life, I know I need to change.
As demonstrated by that trip to Japan, there’s nothing quite like travel to alter your view of the world and yourself. That’s why much of my next six months will be spent in different countries, exploring new cultures and outlooks. That said, when we travel we also take ourselves with us. I know I also have to look inwards to better understand myself. I want to accept what I find, but I’m also willing to change for the better.
For now at least, I’m still pretty goal oriented. I’ve mapped out exactly what my career break looks like, week-by-week. I’ve even toyed with setting KPIs.
I know I need to learn how to…
- Reduce stress and avoid burn-out. I used to think I was resilient because I pushed the feelings of stress down and carried on. When I discovered running, it felt like the answer. I pounded the pavements and my problems vanished. Quite apart from the damage to my knees, running away from things doesn’t work for long.
- Practice self-acceptance. My Scottish roots shudder when I grapple with the concept of self-love, so I’m heading to India. If I don’t find myself on the yoga mat or in a mountainside temple, I’ll at least rediscover my tan on the beach.
- Unlock creativity. I love writing and I’m not too shabby with a sketchpad, but I’ve often swerved creative pursuits because they take more confidence than I can muster. I want to find my voice in my writing and create as much as possible. There may even be a foray into stand-up comedy.
- Evolve into the leader I know I can be. I’ve been told many times I have the potential to be a great leader. I’m honoured that I’ll be working with the Intersticia Foundation this year to find a way to lead that’s both effective and authentic to me.
- Decide what to do next. I took a detour out of the charity sector proper and it’s taught me where I need to be. Charities can be frustrating, but every sector has its challenges. I’m keeping this one as open as possible. I really don’t know what the future holds, but I’m excited to find out.
I want to share my journey as much as I can. This isn’t easy. How open should I be? What constitutes an overshare? It’s hard not to lapse into cliché or sound trite. Plus, once something’s published online it can take on a life of its own. I’m going to see how it goes and I’ll try to share what I learn along the way.
At points I’m sure I’ll be ‘digitally detoxing’ and at others I’ll be keen to engage and hear what you’re up to. You can keep in touch with me on Twitter and at ms.jowolfe@gmail.com. See you on the other side!
